moments
by torchicpox
Summary: snippets in shujin and saiko's relationship


**Shujin x Saiko**

* * *

**1.**

If one day their dream -no, Saiko and Azuki's- dream do come true, Shujin wonders if he would drop dead and Saiko would still walk to the aisle because he's always, always, too dazzled with Azuki to pay him any real attention. But when the time really came, it didn't happen as dramatic as he had imagined. Shujin lived. But as he lay on his -no, their- bed that night, Kaya in his embrace, he chuckled mirthlessly to himself. Kaya had looked at him strangely, but it hadn't really matter. Shujin may not have died literally. But it damn well felt like he did figuratively. But he will be okay. He hoped.

**2.**

Surprisingly, Mashiro had stayed a virgin until his wedding night with Azuki. One would have thought Shujin would've already done something to him by now.

But Shujin did do something. That something just doesn't involve taking Mashiro so selfishly for himself. Though what he had done hadn't been so selfless either. But it had changed something inside Mashiro.

Something that made his nervousness less apparent. Something that made him reluctant to touch pretty, innocent Miho beneath him.

''M-mashiro-kun?'' she asked, confused, as he did nothing and only sat on the edge of their bed with a light blush dusting his cheeks.

Mashiro knew he had to do something. He knew what he had to do. It's just that he wasn't sure anymore if he wanted to do it or not.

''A-a, _sumimasen_. I-I'm just...nervous, I guess.''

But it wasn't hard to pretend it's nervousness which is holding him back and not sudden reluctance. He, he wasn't even sure if this is what he wants anymore!

But Azuki seemed to understand, even blushed a little herself. The shock came when she circled her arms around his waist from behind. He instantly went rigid.

''W-we can...try little by little then.''

Mashiro gulped, but nodded wordlessly. They could try. They always could. But Mashiro doubted that it would bring anything.

**3.**

Mashiro's first kiss with Miho didn't come before their wedding. And even then, it had been more towards the formality of the event than anything supposedly private and special. Something they should have done sooner, without the casual hoots and wolf-whistles urging them on. Something they should have done alone, just the two of them. Then, maybe, it wouldn't felt like such a cheap show -an entertainment for the guest coming to their wedding-. If they had had their first kiss in somewhere private and alone, maybe...maybe Mashiro wouldn't have to bear with Shujin's stare drilling holes to the back of his head.

But maybe it's just Mashiro making excuse on why the kiss tasted like bile and why he had to try to very hard to not just vomit on the spot and ruin everything. Because it had been wrong. Not the wedding, though.

It was perfect and sweet, small. Just a little gathering of especially close people. What was wrong...was the kiss.

And it's not because Miho applied puce-tasting lip-gloss or because Mashiro hadn't taken his daily mint candy to avoid a mouth smelling like stank. No. Everything was perfect. Everything except Mashiro himself. Because while it had been their first kiss, like it was supposed to be -because they're Mashiro and Miho and their love is just pure- , it hadn't been Mashiro's first kiss.

**4.**

If Mashiro could, he'll tell you his first kiss was accidental. Or done in a state of inebriation, or even because he was threatened to death.

But he can't. Because, while it had been accidental at first, a brief sweep of the lips in a moment of pure euphoria...the way the kiss had developed moments after that wasn't. They weren't even drunk or in any state to excuse that kind of behavior.

But by then Mashiro was too far gone with a tongue jamming into his throat, his fingers scrabbling for purchase in tousled blond locks, his back pressed to cold metal racks and probably knocking some mangas down from their shelves...

And it was wonderful...but still not a good enough excuse.

Shujin had promised Kaya to marry her by then. And it was important, how could they forgot? Miho would be furious if she knew, maybe for kissing someone else, maybe because it's Shujin who's engaged to Kaya. Most probably because of both.

But the fact is, she doesn't know. And Mashiro doesn't know if it's better this way or if she should've known. Living with his guilt of kissing someone else's, and not just someone else's, but Shujin who's his best friend, doesn't bode well for his mental health.

In the end, though, he's too much of a coward as he doesn't even acknowledge it, opting to scrape that particular memory into a deep dark recess in his mind, and hope against hope that when you plant enough suggestion in your head, it would be true.

That didn't help. But Mashiro still tries.

**5.**

''Yo! Ashirogi! How did that kiss feel, eh?'' Fukuda Shinta boomed in his usual loud way, a teasing grin almost splitting his face in half while he waggled his eyebrows suggestively. It was the time for the bride and the groom to mingle with the crowds. In this case, for the men to crowd around Mashiro and congratulate him, and the women to flock to Miho and praise her for her appearance on the day of her wedding.

To answer Fukuda's question honestly, Mashiro didn't know. He couldn't well tell them he felt like vomiting at every second the harsh light of the lamp above shone upon him on the raised dais, right? And how was he supposed to know how good it felt when he could only compare it with his kiss with Shujin, which had been an all-out frenching?! His chaste kiss with Azu- no, Miho (it'll be awkward getting used to her little name) would never be able to compete on fair grounds with his other kiss!

Mashiro blushed, realizing what he had just been thinking. What is he? An idiot? Why did he even try to compare it in the first place?!

Thankfully, his blush was taken by the rest of the men surrounding him as a good sign, to which they began laughing and patting his back, giving more congratulations and joking statement of jealousy for his beautiful wife.

But it was Shujin, again, him, who had him pinned with that dark half-bemused look which he usually gets when he's being cynical or sarcastic as he strode to, supposedly, give Mashiro another congratulations. Pointless, buzzing, repetitive, congratulations.

But Shujin's congratulation must be either unusual or embarrassing, something which caused him to lean down and whispered directly to Mashiro's ear, an act which caused Mashiro to blush fiercer with the way the writer's warm breath caressed the shell of his ear.

''It's that good, huh?''

Mashiro didn't even have the time to properly deduct what had been good when Shujin was already dragging him by the arm out of the ballroom, all while yelling, ''I'll tell him some tips for newlyweds!'' which received another round of amused laughters and cause Mashiro to create a new shade of red.

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